Physical Health vs Psychological Health

I'm feeling great!!! Just thought I'd start with an extremely upbeat and positive comment. Haven't felt this good in a long time.
I know, somewhere out there, a little voice is saying "but?" There is always a but. If you are dealing with the "beast", the but is always lurking in the dark hallway, just out of sight, just around the corner, just waiting to possibly bite you in the butt. hahaha.     
With melanoma I feel like I'm saying "lucky me", they cut it out, nodes were clean, what more could I ask for. But I know this is a life-long vigilant battle. But I don't know who I'm battling or when. I think it's the unknown that's the hardest part. Some people I've spoken to (mostly on-line) have had recurrences at 3 months, 6 months, 2 years, and 22 years and everywhere in between. I would imagine some of the long-timers got to the point where they didn't even think of melanoma anymore. They probably think they're in with the lucky ones who tackled the beast and won the fight. Then it sneaks up and bites them in the butt. Some of these people were anywhere from Stage I to III initially and now are at Stage IV. It's a scary process for sure. So I'm just trying to take one day at a time and enjoy life fully and completely. Actually, truthfully, I've only started living this philosophy maybe yesterday or maybe not even yet. It's my goal, though. My poor brain is always twisting with this one way or the other. I keep wondering when I will start believing that I'm living this philosophy. The leg is great. The brain has a little ways to go to catch up. Sometimes I wonder whether I'm fighting the "beast" or I'm fighting myself more. I'd like to have some days in a row where I don't think of it at all. That would be bliss. It would be a mental holiday. A little get-away from it all. That would be heaven.

Meanwhile, I'll keep on keeping on. Cheers.

My First Visit with the Oncologist

Wow! 2 posts in one day. New record for me but I wanted to talk about the oncologist visit. I know a few other blogs I follow like to nickname their docs. I usually don't nickname anyone, but this guy deserves it. I was a little nervous going to the appointment as I wasn't sure what to expect. Dr. R. walks in and all I can think is he is the poster child for Metrosexual Guy. I was thinking I should then call him Dr. Metrosexual - but that's too long, he really should be Dr. Metro. hahaha. Anyways, nice human being. Young, handsome, nice suit, warm hands, light touch. Warm and caring but shoots straight from the hip. I really liked his approach. My main goal was to have a planned follow-up where someone actually knew what they were doing. So we have "plans". Unfortunately none of them include visiting him again unless this ugly "beast" comes back. Not that I'm overly sad. I can see nice looking men anywhere - the beach is one of the places. So this is the 5 year plan:

• GP and lymph node checks every 6 months x 2 years then yearly x 3 years. 
• Chest x-ray and blood work yearly x 5 years
• Dermatologist visit yearly x 5 years - but likely for life
• Go to doc anytime you have a change in moles or new ugly things, fatigue, loss of appetite, loss of weight, generally feeling unwell - now I was just about to say, I have all of these things all the time (except I'll take the weight loss), but he said it has to be a change from how I usually feel - OK then

Here in Canada, they are way more conservative with their testing. They don't believe in extra radiation exposure for Stage I and II Melanoma. The stats just don't support it and apparently the outcomes aren't any different and there are lots of false positives. So no CT, MRI, or PET scan - unless I choose to pay for it myself. I know my family doc would order some of that stuff if I pushed, but at some point I have to trust. He reworked my staging and said I was Stage Ib - which I was surprised as I was told I was Stage IIa. So I have to do a little more research. Although the stats are way better at Stage Ib. I like the 90% 5 year survival and 85% 10 year with a <10% recurrence. But who am I kidding, I truly think I'm a Stage IIa. I always have to look at worse case scenario to get through the tough spots. I know a lot of people are saying "Stage II - you should be thrilled, doing the happy dance and be half way to the moon". I am, I am, I am. But I also have been listening to your stories about starting off at Stage II........and, well, you know where you are at. But am trying to stay positive and keep the faith - and doing my happy dance.
Cheers all.

Walk to Remember report

So yesterday was the walk. Beautiful weather: sunny sky, not too hot - in the shade, small breeze, fabulous location. Not many people showed up. I was disappointed, but not too terribly surprised as there is just not the awareness for Melanoma as there is for other cancers. But for the good stuff, those of us that were there were fabulous people!!! Kathy from the Save Your Skin Foundation was there - I was pleasantly surprised because they had a walk in West Vancouver as well. But she knew Klara - who was the person we were remembering and it was Klara's idea to start these walks. Her goal was to have walks in as many communities as possible across Canada., Well, we had 3 communities in Canada and 1 in Caans, France - how about that!! I was lucky enough to have my BFF Laurie come with me and we got to meet the people who were family, friends, and co-workers of Klara's. She sounds like she was an extraordinary person. I wished I would have known her. She was 23 when she died in 2009. Her Mom Lida and her sister Dominika pulled off this event almost single-handedly. Every year will be better. I don't know how much money was raised, but the spirits were high. We had a picnic afterwards and I won the door prize - go figure. Then Laurie and I went out for a fabulous supper and talked and talked. Was a very good day and evening.

Walk to Remember

Today at 5:00 pm the Save Your Skin Foundation is hosting Walk to Remember. This is a Melanoma awareness walk with a picnic and silent auction. It is being held at the Mission Creek Regional Park in Kelowna BC. This is the second annual and first nation-wide walk. Lida is the prime motivator in this walk. She lost her 23 year old daughter Klara to Melanoma and needed to do something with the grief. So she got together about 75 people last year and held a walk. A Walk to Remember. They remembered, they cried, they talked, and they tried to heal. This year, the Save Your Skin Foundation is hosting a similar walk in a few other communities at the same time to help raise awareness and to network with other Melanoma Warriors. The other communities are West Vancouver, BC and Halifax, Nova Scotia. Our main goal is to raise awareness of this "Beast". It is the fastest growing cancer and the fastest growing killing cancer especially of young people. It kills more young women than breast cancer. It is very scary. I'm hoping that over time, as I heal, I will be able to be more involved in the raising awareness campaign. I want to be walking the beach and talking to as many people as possible. Is one of the number one leisure activities in the sunny Okanagan. And yet I find Melanoma awareness is nowhere near number one in people's minds.
I will post after the event and tell everyone about it. If you wish to donate to the Save Your Skin Foundation, here is the link.
http://www.saveyourskin.ca/donate.html

Lots of new info on facebook and blogs

Wow! I`ve just spent all evening cruising my Facebook of the same name as my blog. I cannot believe all the interesting posts my fellow Melanoma Warriors have been putting out there. Please go have a look. There are a lot of resources available. I just wish I would have had this info before my diagnosis. But, then again, who knew I`d be needing it. That`s the problem with this ``Beast`` - you don`t know what you need to know until you need to know it. Most people blindly stumble through life oblivious to all the dangers out there. And, for the most part, that`s good. We`d hate to live our lives fearful and jumping at any shadows. But now we know what we know and forewarned is forearmed. I also think it`s great that everyone is sharing their experiences so that the rest of us know what we can expect. The pics of the befores and afters really speak volumes. It`s good also to see the wound recoveries. A few of us have been experiencing issues with healing and it`s good to see the stages of healing on people that have similar wounds on similar body parts. It gives us hope for the healing and hope for the future. Keep on posting everyone. The world is watching.

Random Thoughts

This is a busy time of year. School's out, kids are hanging around, vacation is around the corner, sun is blazing, activities abound - it's hard to keep up with blogging, FB, friends, family etc. My daughter's 13th birthday was July 4th. She had a beach party on the 2nd out at our favorite summertime hangout - Sunoka Beach - in Summerland, BC. Notice how everything I've mentioned so far has summer and sun written in it. Normally I'd be looking forward to the sun and beach time. Following my Melanoma diagnosis and my surgery, I'm just not so into it. I found I spent the entire day on Sat. reminding the kids to reapply sunscreen, stay out of the sun after 1/2 hour, come sit in the shade, reapply sunscreen..... on and on. But the kids were so great. Most of them knew what had happened to me and they were just happy to listen to me and do what I told them to. It did my heart good when I didn't have to nag or meet up against any resistance. My 14 year old son and his friend were there as well and they were good too. Me - well - I was slathered in the stuff and under an umbrella - but, for people that know me, that's no different from normal. That's the kicker in this whole thing. I've been extremely sun smart for a minimum the last 13+ years. I've been intolerant of the heat since I've been pregnant with my daughter. So most of my friends and family are shocked that I would have gotten Melanoma. But they forget the extreme sunburns I received as a child. I grew up in an era of no sunscreen because there was none. My family wouldn't have been able to afford it probably anyways. Us kids were out playing in the sun all day and no one ever thought anything of it. Who knows if that's the only source of my Melanoma. As far as I know we have no family history. My 91 year old grandmother has a few spots of squamous cell on her face, but no Melanoma.
So the rest of my summertime plans are: find a really good broad brim hat (yeesh, I hate hats), keep reapplying the sunscreen, have already bought 2 new sun-blocking umbrellas, have bought 4 bottles of 60 SPF UVA/UVB sunscreen, and, oh, yes, the best part, I plan to have lots of fun. We have to remember not to get so bogged down in this muck that we forget to have fun. Fun and laughter boosts our immune system. And from everything I've read about Melanoma, having a boosted immune system is about the only thing that fights this thing.