I know, somewhere out there, a little voice is saying "but?" There is always a but. If you are dealing with the "beast", the but is always lurking in the dark hallway, just out of sight, just around the corner, just waiting to possibly bite you in the butt. hahaha.
With melanoma I feel like I'm saying "lucky me", they cut it out, nodes were clean, what more could I ask for. But I know this is a life-long vigilant battle. But I don't know who I'm battling or when. I think it's the unknown that's the hardest part. Some people I've spoken to (mostly on-line) have had recurrences at 3 months, 6 months, 2 years, and 22 years and everywhere in between. I would imagine some of the long-timers got to the point where they didn't even think of melanoma anymore. They probably think they're in with the lucky ones who tackled the beast and won the fight. Then it sneaks up and bites them in the butt. Some of these people were anywhere from Stage I to III initially and now are at Stage IV. It's a scary process for sure. So I'm just trying to take one day at a time and enjoy life fully and completely. Actually, truthfully, I've only started living this philosophy maybe yesterday or maybe not even yet. It's my goal, though. My poor brain is always twisting with this one way or the other. I keep wondering when I will start believing that I'm living this philosophy. The leg is great. The brain has a little ways to go to catch up. Sometimes I wonder whether I'm fighting the "beast" or I'm fighting myself more. I'd like to have some days in a row where I don't think of it at all. That would be bliss. It would be a mental holiday. A little get-away from it all. That would be heaven.Meanwhile, I'll keep on keeping on. Cheers.
Carolyn, fine post. I'm nearly 8 years into this journey, and I still feel paranoid about a recurrence-- although less so as time goes by. Keep up your blogging; melanoma thoughts are going to be lurking somewhere in the depths of your brain anyway, so you might as well continue to put them to good use! Take care.
ReplyDeleteI think you are an inspiration! I have really been stuggleing with fear lately. (www.rachelsreminder.blogspot.com) Thank you for blogging.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your blog with others who are fighting Skin cancer. I myself am a skin cancer survivor ,all thou I will fight this the rest of my life. Please come visit all my blogs and join by following me. Its important that we share our story's so we can help others.
ReplyDelete