Tuesday, 16 August 2011

Physical Health vs Psychological Health

I'm feeling great!!! Just thought I'd start with an extremely upbeat and positive comment. Haven't felt this good in a long time.
I know, somewhere out there, a little voice is saying "but?" There is always a but. If you are dealing with the "beast", the but is always lurking in the dark hallway, just out of sight, just around the corner, just waiting to possibly bite you in the butt. hahaha.     
With melanoma I feel like I'm saying "lucky me", they cut it out, nodes were clean, what more could I ask for. But I know this is a life-long vigilant battle. But I don't know who I'm battling or when. I think it's the unknown that's the hardest part. Some people I've spoken to (mostly on-line) have had recurrences at 3 months, 6 months, 2 years, and 22 years and everywhere in between. I would imagine some of the long-timers got to the point where they didn't even think of melanoma anymore. They probably think they're in with the lucky ones who tackled the beast and won the fight. Then it sneaks up and bites them in the butt. Some of these people were anywhere from Stage I to III initially and now are at Stage IV. It's a scary process for sure. So I'm just trying to take one day at a time and enjoy life fully and completely. Actually, truthfully, I've only started living this philosophy maybe yesterday or maybe not even yet. It's my goal, though. My poor brain is always twisting with this one way or the other. I keep wondering when I will start believing that I'm living this philosophy. The leg is great. The brain has a little ways to go to catch up. Sometimes I wonder whether I'm fighting the "beast" or I'm fighting myself more. I'd like to have some days in a row where I don't think of it at all. That would be bliss. It would be a mental holiday. A little get-away from it all. That would be heaven.

Meanwhile, I'll keep on keeping on. Cheers.