Friday, 22 June 2012

Freaking myself out

Boy sometimes for a smart person, I can be so dumb (quiet Laurie).
I've been dealing with a lot of personal stress the last little while and subsequently have developed hypertension. I'm not impressed!!! I've been through so much the past few years and now this. I thought I was having migraines and high BP due to a progesterone releasing IUD to try to control heavy bleeding (sorry men). So had it out and nothing settled down. So super high BP 170-190/90-105!!!! 2-3 straight weeks of migraines and painful buzzing ears. Finally started on some Ramipril. After 3 days of that BP is now 148/80 at last check. Also tons of bloodwork and waiting on a renal ultrasound to check to make sure the kidneys aren't responsible.
So then I start thinking.......
Are all these migraines because the melanoma has spread to my brain. I used to get migraines - mostly hormonal - but the last few years as I get older, they've been less and less. Down to about 2-3 per year instead of per week. I was loving the freedom from constant pain. So the last few weeks have been hell to say the least. Today is my first migraine-free day!!! It's still hovering so I won't cheer too loud. Sometimes with all the stories we read on our facebook pages and others' pages and all the tragedies happening right now, it's hard not to look at yourself and wonder if you are going to share the same fate. A lot of them started at Stage 2 just like me. So it is a possibility. I made a comment about this on my Dodged a Bullet facebook page yesterday and received a couple of very supportive remarks. The kindest was "Take a deep breathe, focus. Hug someone important to you and then get out there and take on the day!"
It's so easy to get wrapped up in a negative thought spiral. It's very hard to get out of it. I have to remember to breath and that I have lots of supportive loving people in my life. As always, I'm so thankful for these precious people and all of my cyber support crew.
Blessings to everyone struggling. 

1 comment:

  1. Hi,

    I have a quick question about your blog, would you mind emailing me when you get a chance?